Side effects of Apprentor may include, but are not limited to: an unnatural calm in the face of catastrophic mistakes, the ability to translate nonsensical questions into teachable moments, and finding the phrase ‘good try’ becoming a primary part of your vocabulary. A small percentage of users experience Spontaneous Encouragement Syndrome, leading to affirmations like You got this! even when it is clear they do not, in fact, got this. Do not take Apprentor if you are allergic to patience. Other effects include nodding, smiling while your eye twitches, and the profound, unshakable belief that they’ll ‘get it eventually.’ Ask your doctor if accepting the chaos is right for you. Do not take a-prent-tor if you are responsible for anything time-sensitive or mission-critical. Taking Apprentormay cause a dangerous drop in your standards for ‘a job well done.’ Other side effects include Loss of Micromanagement Urge (LMU), finding genuine charm in abject failure, and the ability to witness the misuse of expensive equipment without your blood pressure spiking. Some users have reported an increased tolerance for loud sighs, eye-rolling, and phone-checking. Apprentor may cause you to say things like, ‘Well, that’s one way to do it,’ in a tone completely devoid of sarcasm. Tell your doctor if you experience a mentoring session lasting more than four hours without wanting to fake an emergency.